It’s been a difficult week on the front porch. . .

 . . . notifications from friends that loved ones have passed away

. . . watching my sweet dog suffer through a “hopefully he will heal” process with a stretched ACL

. . . realizing Hank (my Jeep) may need even more repairs after just rebuilding the transmission

. . . praying my sister recovers quickly from Covid, and that my mom doesn’t contract it

. . . getting a phone call from my daughter in Texas letting me know that I am going to be contacted by a local police detective about a development with my sweet, three month old granddaughter

. . . yes, it’s been a difficult week on the front porch.

Of my list of 𝒘𝒐𝒆𝒔, the one that has occupied my thoughts and grabbed hold of the reins of my heart is 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔.

One of my dearest friends’ estranged brother of 15 years passed away.

Another friend and former co-worker’s wife lost her yearlong battle to health complications.

My brother in law’s sudden and unexpected death from four years ago popped up in my memories on social media.

My recent birthday, which has transitioned from the hope of a celebration, to the yearly reminder of my dad’s death and all that was lost and that could have been.

An onslaught of emotions that accompany death invade my mind.

𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙨 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙.

          𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙨 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙮.

                    𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙨 𝙐𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜.

                              𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙨 𝘾𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣.

                                        𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙨 𝙈𝙮𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨.

𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙨 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙.

It consists of many parts intricately woven together that are difficult to understand, or analyze, or explain. Yet we try. We try to decode it as if it were a math problem, breaking it down into its simplest form, hoping that in its simplicity we will be able to grasp that the underlying meaning is in fact a natural end to something we played no part in.

𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙨 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙮.

The dawn of each day greets us with dreams twisted in reality. Broken memories and missing minutes peek at us through a hole in the cloth of time. Our eyes are rain; stolen memories stream down our cheeks, pooling at our feet.  We wear our pain like a heavy cloak; the pockets weighted down with words left unsaid.

𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙨 𝙐𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜.

It troubles our mind with “what if,” “if only,” and “should have.” We try with everything within us to make sense of something we deem to be senseless, yet we sit in silent sadness, our mind now a desolate land where hopes and dreams once lived.

𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙨 𝘾𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣.

Everybody dies. Tucked away in the corners of our mind we know one day it will come. Even so, we deny it to be so. We plead.  We barter.  We beg the invisible chains of darkness to keep it hidden away behind the curtain just a little longer. Yet it is inevitable and impossible to avoid.

Or is it?

𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙨 𝙈𝙮𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨.

Indeed it is beyond our power to humanly understand or explain. It is veiled in the unknown of what lies beyond . . . of what is to come in the afterlife. When we are 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚, how we respond is solely dependent on how, or what, we believe. For some, it is truly the end. We hold on tightly to everything that matters in the world, our heart breaking, our body aching, our mind begging for one more minute – for one more phone call, one more hug, one more chance to laugh together.  For others, it is a promise kept. It is hope. It is the transition to the place that has been prepared for them; where death, decay, and destruction have been defeated. It is not the end . . . it is the bridge they cross over to eternal life.  And for those of us left to carry on until we see them again, we learn to live in a new way. We learn to embrace the pain; to keep them alive with our memories; to hold on to the assurance that God has them in His care.

It’s been a difficult week on the front porch . . .

. . . while I don’t know which side of death you believe in, I do want you to know that my wish for you is that you continue; that you know hope, and that it would be a strong and trustworthy anchor for your soul. (Hebrews 6:19)

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“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.”

John 3:16-17 (NLT)

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 6:23 (NLT)

And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.

Romans 8:2 (NLT)

Our God is a God who saves! The Sovereign Lord rescues us from death.

Psalm 68:20 (NLT)

He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies.

Psalm 103:4 (NLT)

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

John 14: 1-3 (NIV)